Teams
Richmond Wrecking Belles
Roster
Captains: Liza Machete • Racey Lane
Astronaughty • Brawllen Angel • CrashLeen • CutThroat Cathy •Demanda Riot • Diane Rött • Diva Negativa Frisky Meow • Golden Skate Warrior • J. Crush • La Femme Nikilla • Lusty Malice • Mandi Festo • Mercy Xilling • Nancy Drew-Blood • Nina Beretta • Roxie the Riveter • Sheila E.R. • Velveteen Savage
Team Story
Eons ago, beneath the festering shadow of Mount Diablo, the city of Richmond erupted from the rich loam of ancient volcanoes. The virgin land was roamed by pigs the size of rhinos, and rhinos the size of pigs. No shit. Eventually humankind emerged from the earth’s primordial sludge and in nineteen hundred and five the untamed land was formally labeled “Richmond”.
Peaceful years passed until eventually the peanuts of destiny began to be cracked from their historic shells by the angry hands of war. A “nice place to visit” turned into a smoke-belching, arm-severing behemoth of industry as the free world entered the second Great War. Women (quickly deemed unfit to get shot in the face for their country) were enlisted to construct floating machines of combat—great clunking battleships that, in most cases, would play a part in shooting the faces of those not yet shot. However, these mechanical monsters, like so many soldiers, also came to an untimely end. The hulking ruins of these metal giants were laid to rest in desolate ship graveyards tucked along the Richmond shoreline, and were subsequently set upon by a platoon of remorseless females that demolished everything in their path — the Richmond Wrecking Belles. With manicured fists of fury and cankles from hell, the crew had a singular goal: break what “Rosie” built. To speed up the nautical annihilation, the Wrecking Belles traversed the colossal steel corpses and fog-filled yards on roller-skates, each pair forged from the deadliest of cannons and the strongest of hulls. It’s also rumored that each member wore an angry octopus as a necklace, but that is unsubstantiated.
The Wrecking Belles continued the frenzied dismemberment until the surrender of evil in 1945 when suddenly there wasn’t much left to savagely dismantle. The Korean, Cold, Vietnam, cola and culture wars ensued, but none offered the Wrecking Belles the satisfaction of yesteryear. Then at the turn of the century, like a dress rehearsal for Armageddon, an ancient sport reemerged from the depths of hell: Roller Derby.
The great-wheeled battle proved to be a perfect match for the Belles. Calling upon their deft skating skills, the fierce game satiated the women’s need for speed and quenched their thirst for destruction. No matter their opponents’ size, strength, or former glory, the Wrecking Belles take to the track like perfectly coiffed hyenas, laying waste to any derby momma who dares to meet them on the line.