Close Shave in Roseville

Bay Area's All Stars slipped by the Sacred City Sacrificers in Roseville (home of Sacred City Derby Girls) Saturday, July 19th, 99 to 84. As the Sacrificers tied the game up in the second half and took a brief lead before Kitt Turbo and the All Stars reestablished their dominance and secured the victory in the final jam.

Recently, the Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) came out with their 2nd quarter ranking of the nation's top flat track teams and Bay Area was voted to the nation's sixth, just after Kansas City, New York, Seattle, North Carolina, and Texas. Sacred City (Sacramento) was ranked 28th. Never the less, this makes Bay Area and Sacred City the two top ranked teams in California.

The last time Bay Area and Sacred played, April 6th of this year, was in the finals of "The Big One", California's first annual Flat Track Derby State Championship and Bay Area won handily 101 to 30. But this time things were different for Bay Area, as the All Stars were playing without their coach and several of their top players. Killer Vee was recovering from leg surgery, co-captain Taxi Scab, Sassy Slayher, Pia Mess, and Grr Lee Burly were recovering from the nasty floor at Herbst Pavilion, when the Oakland Outlaws beat the SF ShEvil Dead, July 12th, and Brawllen Angel was sick. Coach John Diss was serving his WFTDA suspension for his impolite words to Seattle's Refs during the Bay Area - Rat City game, June 21st (Taxi and Sassy were bench coaches for this game). Still Bay Area was more than confident that they had the firepower to do in Sacred.

And in the first eight jams of the first period, all looked under control, as Bay Area collected 6 lead jammers and racked up a 31 to zero score, completely shutting out Sacred. It was during this stretch, that the game claimed it's first two skaters. Sacred and Bay Area, each had a jammer withdraw from the game due to sickness, Sacred's top jammer, Mugshot Mary, retired with four jams and no points and Bay Area's Racey Lane, also called it quits with 2 jams and 10 points. This left both sides with having to recruit a blocker to become a jammer for a while.

Sacred's Coach, Dirty D, was all the time shifting skaters in and out looking for a lineup that would somehow stem the Bay Area onslaught, and in the 9th jam he found what he was looking for. With Bay Area replacement jammer, Diane Rott, in the penalty box, Sacred fielded Slingshot, Daddy's Girl, Gaygan and Shadow Soldier. With Bebe Brewski jamming, Sacred got on the board with a 7 to 0 jam. Coach D ran with that lineup for the next four jams, shutting out Bay Area and cutting the lead almost in half, to 31-14.

But the lineup couldn't hold and the last three jams of the first half ended in storm of penalties and Kitt Turbo's contrails. The 13th jam started well enough for Sacred as they had a blocker advantage over Bay Area and Gaygan took lead jammer over Kitt Turbo. But a back block sends Gaygan to the box and the jam tumbled out of control for a Sacred as the rest of their skaters are either sent to the box or are waiting to get in. Meanwhile Kitt was tearing up the track and after scoring 12 points she calls off the jam. Oops! Wasn't Gaygan lead jammer? This setup the game's first jammerless jam, Liza Machete of Bay Area versus Spillher of Sacred. In the first lap Liza cuts the track and is sent to the sin bin. Spillher racks up 8 points before she too is sent to the box for cutting; another jammerless jam. But Kitt Turbo has served her time and in the next jam collects 6 points from a depleted Sacred before time mercifully runs out on the period.

The score at the half was 49-22, the game well in hand for the Bay Area, but trouble was brewing. Bay Area had not found a 3rd jammer to replace Racey Lane, their blocking had broken down, and if anything happened to Kitt Turbo Bay Area would fall into a hole they probably couldn't get out of. Meanwhile Sacred had seen their chance and Dirty D was filling Sacred with hope, all they needed was a break and they hadn't seen any of those yet.

The first jam of the second half started well enough for Bay Area as Miss Moxxxie picked up lead jammer status quickly and 3 points before Gaygan could score any. But in the 18th jam of the game Sacred saw their first break and they jumped on it. When Kitt Turbo was sent to the penalty box for cutting, Spillher piled up 15 points before Kitt could serve her penalty. This cut the Bay Area lead to 13 points, but the next four jams saw Bay Area steadily pull away, building their lead back up to 25 points, 71 to 46. In the next jam Bay Area stumbled.

With solid blocking and skillful jamming BeBe Brewski skates a grand slam over Miss Moxxxie. And in the next jam Kitt Turbo is sent to the box for TWO minutes for her 4th minor and a cutting major. Sacred runs three jams in the time that Kitt is in the box and gets 5 points from Candy Crusher, 14 points from Gaygan and 4 points from BeBe Brewski. The crowd at Roller King goes crazy, for in those four jams Bay Area is held scoreless, while Sacred picks up 28 points to take the lead 71-74.

But the Bay Area has the heart of champions, they do not panic, they do not despair, they focus on what has to done and do it. In the game's 27th jam, Miss Moxxxie quickly gets lead jammer status and 3 points before Candy Crusher can even get close to the pack, tying the game up 74-74. Then Kitt Turbo ekes out 4-2 jam over Gaygan to take a slender 2 point lead. From there bout sways back and forth with Bay Area first grabbing a further 5 points, only to lose it in the next jam. Kitt and BeBe then go to the box together to create the last jammerless jam of the night. Slingshot calls off the next jam before Liza Machete can score any points. The score is 86-84 Bay Area, there's a minute and 45 seconds left, just enough time for one last jam.

Both teams knew this is it, the winner of this jam will probably win the game. A timeout was called and both teams discussed their strategy. They fielded their best jammers, Kitt Turbo for Bay Area, Candy Crusher for Sacred. Bay Area had the early advantage as they hold a three to two blocker advantage, but Sacred has been beating the odds all night, their luck just had to last for less than two minutes. The crowd is on their feet.

The whistle blows and it begins. Bay Area blockers Liza Machete, Lusty Malice and Demanda Riot setup a wall in front of Sacred blockers Slingshot and Foxy Knoxy. Kitt splits Sacred's blockers and her blockers let her through. Candy gets stuck behind the Bay Area wall. A blocker from each side is let on, Mandi Festo for the Bay Area, and Spillher for Sacred. Kitt is in "full power to the engines" and is zipping around the track. Candy is still stuck as Kitt begins her scoring pass. She sneaks pass Sacred's blockers as they yell at refs for a 20 foot call for Candy. Kitt is through again for a grand slam as Candy cuts the track to gets around Demanda, who is the last Bay Area blocker, and Candy is sent to the box. It's all over for Sacred, but Kitt keeps going, ringing up a total of 13 points before the clock runs out on the game.

Bay Area gets their victory, 99-84, but it's a game that they'd like to forget ever existed.

Bay Area Derby Girls Stats

Skaters	+/-	Block	Jam	Points	P/Box
Demanda Riot	-2	23			4
Diane Rott	-12	4	5	5	2
Kimfectious	-11	2
Kitt Turbo	+10	3	15	58	4
La Chica Mala	-5	9			1
Lemmy Choke'Ya	-2	6
Liza Machete	+20	27	2	0	7
Lusty Malice	+7	19			4
Mandi Festo	+23	26			6
Miss Moxxxie	+5		8	18	1
Racey Lane	+10		2	10
Velveten Savage	+32	13	1	8	3

Sacred City Derby Girls Stats

Skaters	+/-	Block	Jam	Points	P/Box
Bebe Brewski	-7	3	8	19	3
Candy Crusher	-6	2	9	19	2
Chica Loca	-2	3
Daddy's Girl	-4	25			10
Foxy Knoxy	-26	17			3
Gangsta Licious	0	1
Gaygan	-10	8	6	19	6
Hot Toddy	-2	11			1
Mugshot Mary	-16		4	0	1
Shadow Soldier	+15	22			4
Slingshot	+11	25	2	0	4
Spillher	-28	15	4	27	6

Bay Area Juggernaut rolls over Tucson, 96-39

Saturday, May 31st was a hot day in Tucson with the temperature over one hundred, to the residents of Tucson it was just another day. But for the fans of Roller Derby who had come from California, Nevada, New Mexico and across Arizona to meet at 7pm at Tucson's BladeWorld, it was only just starting to warm up. California's hottest team, the Bay Area Derby Girls (#10), had come to town to take on the country's sixth ranked team, Tucson Roller Derby's Saddletramps.

After team introductions Sloppy Flo was given a trophy for scoring over thousand points in her career at Tucson. After the national anthem both teams form up with their strongest lineups: For the Bay Area, Sassy Slayher, Pia Mess, Liza Machete and Taxi Scab with Kitt Turbo jamming. For Tucson, Deadlock Doe, Carrie Guns, Tumbleweed and Sami Automatic with Sloppy Flo jamming. The jam set the pattern of the game, as Bay Area's quicker jammers and defensive blocking strategy kept Tucson off balance all night.

What follows is a blow by blow description of the first jam. The first whistle blows and Bay Area and Tucson blockers matched up at a leisurely pace. At second whistle Kitt Turbo explodes off the jammer line and gets a stroke lead over Sloppy Flo. Bay Area blockers tie up Tucson blockers and Kitt is by the first two in turn 2 and stroking hard down the back stretch while Sassy and Pia are trying to seal Doe and Carrie to the inside. Meanwhile Taxi and Machete have switched from offense to defense and Machete is able to hip check Flo, knocking her out of bounds. At the front of the pack, in Turn 3 Kitt takes to the outside, but Doe sends Sassy toward Kitt, who Kitt has to dodge, that gives Doe just enough time to line up Kitt in her sights and take her shot. Doe sends a shoulder into Kitt that Kitt is just barely able to parry, but it takes her out of bounds. As Doe's momentum carries her into the penalty box, Carrie slides in front of the pack in Turn 4 with Pia shadowing her. Meanwhile Flo reenters the track and heads for Turn 3, where Taxi crashes into her from hip to helmet. Amazingly Flo stays on her skates, but the collision leaves Flo out of bounds and at the back of the pack. Kitt puts the peddle to the metal hard and flies down the back stretch. Pia gets inside of Carrie and hip checks her in Turn 1; Kitt is free and clear and under a full head of steam. Flo puts on a burst of speed and flies through the strung out pack as Bay Area blockers whiff their blocks through Turns 1 and 2. Sassy forces Flo to the outside, but has to give up in Turn 3 because of the 20 foot rule. By the time Flo gets free Kitt Turbo has a half lap lead and lead jammer status. The blockers slow and reform the pack, Deadlock Doe moves to the head of the pack. But it's only for a couple of seconds as Kitt approaches. Machete and Taxi make sure Sami is out of position as Kitt slashes for the inside of Turn 1, Tumbleweed cuts to the inside at Turn 2 and almost catches Kitt who bounces to the outside. Carrie just beats Kitt to outside and Kitt is stuck behind a wall of Tumbleweed and Carrie as they travel to Turn 3. Taxi gets inside of Tumbleweed and pushes the entire wall off the inside line. Kitt follows Taxi around Turns 3 and 4 passing Tumbleweed and then Carrie in the back stretch where she hits her hips ending the jam. Sloppy Flo is a quarter of a lap behind and never had a chance. The whole jam took only 42 seconds.

The game continued in this vein. There were no great swings, no dramtic comebacks just a steadily growing lead from beginning to end. Sometimes the lead slowed and sometimes it quicken, but the winner of the game was never in doubt. Of the 36 jams in the game the Bay Area won 20, tied 10 and lost 6. The Bay Area held Tucson scoreless in 26 jams.

But it was not as though Tucson did not have their chances. In fact the Bay Area gave Tucson lots of chances, but Tucson failed to convert them. The Bay Area had skaters in the penalty box in 33 of the 36 jams. Tucson held a blocker advantage of one or two blockers in 24 of the game's jams. In those 24 jams the Bay Area outscored Tucson 71-31. In the 8 jams with even number of blockers the Bay Area won 15-8. And in the 4 jams in which the Bay Area held the blocker advantage, 10-0. Tucson seemed not to know what to do when they held a blocker advantage, the Bay Area blockers, when down skaters, skated with a plan and purpose.

The game was not without dangers to it's skaters as well. In the second lap of the second jam Sassy Slayher gets tangled up with Tucson's jammer, Two-Bit Ore, and is sent head first into floor. The jam is called. Fortunately Sassy gets up and makes it to her bench, where she takes an appreciated three jam break. And at the end of the seventeenth jam Taxi Scab sees Tucson's EMT for a bloody nose.

In other stats; Sloppy Flo had 5 points in the first half and was shutout in the second half. The Bay Area's rookie phenom jammer, Grr Lee Burly, scored 39 points, equal to Tucson's score, was the game's highest scorer. Interestingly penalties mirrored points, the score, 96-39 Bay Area, and penalties 95-41 Bay Area.

The next inter-league games for these teams are the Pikes Peak Derby Dames come to Tucson to take on the Saddletramps, June 28th. And the Bay Area Derby Girls go to Seattle to do battle with the Rat City Rollergirls, June 21st.